I'M DOING THIS ON THE BLOG THAT NOBODY READS.

layer one - on the outside

 Full Name: Michael Thomas Leigh Kopp
Birthday: May 7, 1996
School: David Thomphson Secondary School
Current Location: edgewater B.C.
Eye Color: blue
Hair Color: dirty blond
Righty or Lefty: Right.
Zodiac Sign: taurus

 layer two - on the inside

 Your Heritage: Austrian, English
Your Fears: Spiders, Urinating in public restrooms
Weakness: Most things Goal(s): to love and be loved
Change one thing about your life: My self-loathing
Relieve Stress: Music. Both listening to it and making it.
Hardest thing ever dealt with: my inferiority complex
What upsets you: Females.
Vent about something: Just someone please let me know wether I am a worthwhile human being or not.

layer three - yesterday, today, tomorrow

 Your thoughts first waking up: Looking forward to the ten minute period of time when you are forced to talk to me.
 Your bedtime: I'll miss you.
 Your most missed memory: I helped you with your bucket list.

 layer four - your picking

 Pepsi or Coke: Coke. McDonald's or Burger King: Not a fan of either, really. Mcdonalds I suppose. Single or Group dates: I have no frame of reference.
Lipton Tea or Nestea: Twinings.
 Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate.
Cappuccino or Coffee: They are both different kinds of coffee, moron. And I prefer lattes.

 layer five - do you?

Have a crush: more than just a petty crush
Think you've been in love: I am inclined to believe so, yes.
Want to get married: As long as I dont have to have kids.
 Believe in yourself: is that a question? Yes, I believe in my existence.

 layer six - in the past month have you?

 Drank alcohol: no but I had a pot cupcake.
Gone to the mall: band trip. she got kicked out. I almost forgot about her temporarily.
Eaten Sushi: yes
Gone skating: no.
Colored your hair: no.
Done something exciting: not especially.

 layer seven - have you ever?

 Changed who you were to fit in: I wouldn't doubt it
Hid something from someone: usually.
Stole a note that you weren't tagged in: just did. is that the stupid facebook tradition?

 layer eight - getting old Age

you're hoping to be married: ideally, never but I guess late 30s?
Age you're hoping to have children: If I wanted a money-sucking stress machine I'll adopt one.
Want to travel to: Japan.

layer nine - perfect match

Best Eye Color: Green
Best Hair Color: black
 Short or Long Hair: Long
Notice how this section asks nothing as to what kind of person she is?

 layer ten - what were you doing..

5 MINUTES AGO: eating food
1 HOUR AGO: you dont wanna know.
1 DAY AGO: probably what I always do at this hour. Internet.
LAST WEEKEND: see above question.
1 YEAR AGO: being a year's more immature and naive.

 layer eleven - finish the sentance

 I Love: someone I have yet to meet.
I Feel: lonely
I Hate: myself
I Hide: my love
I Miss: you for all the time that you will be gone.
I Need: you.

Resent

I resent you.
I resent him.
I resent the fact you won't end up telling him what you told me.
I resent the fact that you won't have to.
I resent that you waited for me for so long.
just to turn me away.
I resent you for telling me you weren't in love with anyone
I resent you for lying.
I will stay by your side as long as I can.
Because I love you.
But I still resent you.

Pools are great.
No one can tell the water from the tears.

Mr. Inferiority Complex

He follows me.
He sits on my shoulders
whispering not-so-pleasantries in my ear.

He tells me what to eat
what to think
what to feel
what to do.

He tells me I am
a worthless
waste of space.

He tells me
Nobody will ever
love me.

Every time I make an assumption
an assumption that maybe
just maybe
he is wrong

he just shouts, sitting on me bed
filing his nails
a cruel smirk painted on his face
"Not true."

But maybe you can help me
Kick him out.
Dump his freeloading ass
tell him to leave me the fuck alone

I would be cautiously optimistic, But he won't let me feel that way.

You

sigh
moan
midday nap on the roof
skin on skin
no boundaries
breathing in unison
hair tickling face
light strum
pure lightness
red fringes
nervous?
hand on bare stomach
lips on bare neck
what is this?


Just a far too personal rambling

From someone who still doesn't know how to feel.

Here We Go.

Write a sentence.

*backspacebackspacebackspacebackspace*

No. thats stupid.

Write another sentence.

maybe...

no.

*backspacebackspacebackspacebackspace*

Long and mournful sigh.

I'll just sit here.

face illuminated by a computer screen.

Listening to the same song on repeat.

thinking of you.

Maybe my fat little greasy fingers

smashing repeatedly on this gross little keyboard

might produce something

that might make someone

somewhere

smile. 

Preferably you.

Because you deserve it.

I will be back. 

To make something much better. 

Because this kind of sucks. 

you'll see.

An Open Rebuttal.

You obviously didn't know what I meant.
Whatever happens in here,
I will push out of the way for you.

They aren't doing me any favours.
They sit around
without paying rent
feeding on my brain
getting out their frustration at my heart.

You don't.

Stop thinking that you come second.
because you deserve more than second.
you deserve a golden metal.

Maybe I deserve
to be the one
to give it to you.

Propagated feelings

Being satisfied with not getting what I want
Is not enough
Anymore.

So now I just lie to myself.
for the good of me
and you.

I tell myself I don't care anymore.
but that is such a fucking lie.

I can't restrain my feelings
with anything but concrete.
and a wild horse
engulfed in concrete
is not a pretty site.

Not sure what to feel anymore
so I just decide.
even when I do know what to feel
I don't know what I make of it.

Juliet MKI, you are not helping.
you bring out my real side.
and you act like you enjoy it.

But you told me your rule
and if you change your mind,
I will follow it to the grave.

I don't even know what this bullshit is anymore.