Propagated feelings

Being satisfied with not getting what I want
Is not enough
Anymore.

So now I just lie to myself.
for the good of me
and you.

I tell myself I don't care anymore.
but that is such a fucking lie.

I can't restrain my feelings
with anything but concrete.
and a wild horse
engulfed in concrete
is not a pretty site.

Not sure what to feel anymore
so I just decide.
even when I do know what to feel
I don't know what I make of it.

Juliet MKI, you are not helping.
you bring out my real side.
and you act like you enjoy it.

But you told me your rule
and if you change your mind,
I will follow it to the grave.

I don't even know what this bullshit is anymore.