Sunday, May 27, 2012

one hour with nothing to do.


The last person you kissed, do they love you?  ~ Probably not, but I can dream.

Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? ~ I am forever alone.

Have you spoke to any of your ex's today? ~ One benefit of being a lonely fuck.

Have you ever been kissed in a moving car? ~ Nope.

Would you lie to the police if it would save your boyfriends/bestfriends life? ~ Why would the police want to kill my girlfriend? And yea I suppose.

Last reason you cried? ~ Probably her. That or my self-hatred.

What were you doing at 8:00 this morning? ~ Sleeping

What were you doing at 4am? ~ Sleeping

Can you honestly say that things are running smoothly for you? ~ Smoother than I make them out to be.

Are promises important to you? ~ Not really. no one has made any to me.

Are you mad at anyone right now? ~ A bit peeved but not angry.

Are you wearing a ring, if so who gave it to you? ~ Dont wear rings.

Is it possible to be single and happy? ~ Not for me. I am a hopeless romantic.

Next time you will kiss someone on the lips? ~ ASAP.

I bet you miss somebody right now? ~ Despite the fact that I have no reason too, I see them almost every day.

Who? ~ you dont need to know that.

When will you next see the person you fell the hardest for? ~ Tomorrow

Do you think anyone has feelings for you? ~ Maybe. Not who I would like though.

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? ~ I highly doubt it.

Do you ever have "lazy days?" ~ Everyday.

Have you recently been hurt by someone you never thought would hurt you? ~ I guess I expect everyone to hurt me.

Would you rather spend a Friday night at a concert or a crazy party or hanging with the person you like? ~ The person I like. That's how my best evenings usually begin, anyway.

Are you the type of person who has a new boyfriend/girlfriend every week? ~ HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Do you think you will be married by the time you are 25? ~ i HIGHLY doubt it.

Can you commit to one person and one person only willingly? ~ If I am secure that it wont come back to bite me.

Is there someone who continuously lets you down? ~ not really.

Think back to the last person you held hands with, do you wish you could kiss them? ~ yes. and I have. and I would like to again.

Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? ~ Zac.

Would you hug the last person you hugged again? ~ yes.

Last time someone said I love you to you? ~ Possibly never.

Is there a boy in your life that knows right away when somethings wrong with you? ~ no. no girl either. I love how you assume that I am female.

Have you ever been with someone while they were throwing up? ~ not that I can recall.

Do you miss your past? ~ Some parts of my immediate past, yes.

Could you go a day without eating? ~ yes

Last time you ran? ~ PE. and I most certainly did not enjoy it.

Do you fall for people easily?  ~ Eye contact and a smile is usually all it takes.

Do you have to sleep with the TV on?  ~ dont even have one

Ever cried while you were on the phone with someone? ~ nope.

Do you think love can last forever? ~ probably not. also that would be impossible.

Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with? ~ again with the assuming I am a female thing. No.

Do you have a mirror in your room? ~ why would I do that?

Last time you cooked for yourself? ~ last night.

Do you wear your seat belt in the car? ~ impulsively.

What is your favorite condiment to go with french fries? ~ there are more than one? I AM NOT FROM HOLLAND.

What can’t you go a day without missing? ~ the internet.

What goes good with a nice cold glass of milk? ~ the concept of milk disgusts me. Good in chai tea though.

How do you spend those last couple of minutes before falling into sleep?  ~ thinking far too much.

Have you ever had a vacation where you stayed in a cabin?  ~ Wineglass bay. Less of a "Cabin" more of a "Decrepit shack." Never will I forget the sound of my mother shouting "Oh god a huntsman spider get it GET IT" when I am on the verge of sleep.

Do you call them cabs or taxis?  ~ Neither. I have never had to call for one.

What kinda cake you you like most? ~ Black forest cake.

Would you rather call or text? ~ there is not enough information there to formulate a legitimate question. better luck next time.

Would you call yourself a calm person when bad things ~ ... That is not even a real sentence.

Do you prefer the name Callum or Tait ? ~ What kind of question is that even? and if I ever have children I am naming them after noble gasses.

Do you have your own digital camera? ~ no but I am looking into purchasing a DSLR for filmmaking.

Have you ever gone camping? If so, where did you go and for how long? ~ I have only been legitimately camping for one night. it was pretty fun. Two restless teens, alone in a tent in the woods, one of them being slightly intoxicated...

Can you drive a car? If not yet, will you?  ~ I plan to take my car test and my motorcycle test at the same time. yes, I am planing to get a motocycle license. Women, place form an orderly single-file line. 

Do you prefer being paid with cash or cheques from work? ~ Cash, but if I got paid in cash I would spend it within the week.

Do you have, or have you had any cats? Names? ~ Nope. but if I had any they would be named after noble gasses. Xenon would be my favorite.

Are you cautious or a little too wild?  ~ Depends on my company.

Do you like champagne? ~ yes.

Chandler, Joey or Ross from Friends? ~ I avoid every sit com with a laugh track.

Do you use your charm or intelligence most? ~ charm... INTELLIGENCE?!?

Do you like cinnamon on your apple pie? ~ ...sure?

Do you ever make out shapes in the clouds? ~ sometimes

Do you drink coffee at home ? What brand?  ~ not really. espresso on occasion.

Do you prefer coke or rootbeer? ~ depends.

Do you feel the cold easier or the heat? ~ heat. And humidity.

Have you ever been called a bitch? ~ AGAIN WITH THE ASSUMPTIONS. 

If the last person you kissed told you that kissing you was a mistake and a regret and to never speak to you again, what would your reaction be? would you cry? ~ thats not the kind of thing she would say.

Whose hoodie did you last wear? ~ my own. I AM MALE. 

Do you have a lighter on you? ~ yes.

Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your own bed? ~ kellans house.

Would you rather be who you are with forever, or be single for the rest of your life?  ~ I am not with anyone right now so... both?

Where is your purse/wallet right now? ~ back pocket

Will you ever run away and get married with no notifications to your family? ~ probably.

Do you think that crying is a form of weakness? ~ nope. In fact, in the days of ancient greece, crying was considered manly. 

This time last year, can you remember who you liked? ~ Sarah I think. Purely based off attractiveness.

Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder? ~ same, I have been up and down in the past year.

Is there anyone who thinks you're changing? ~ She thinks I have changed. for the better I think

What do you hear right now? ~ the bathtub filling up upstairs

How many times have you been to the hospital for injuries? ~ only like twice. my parents never take me to the hospital.

What is on your wrist right now?  ~ two bracelets. both from girls. There should be three but she hasnt returned it yet

You see someone running around naked in the street. Your reaction? ~ depends on their gender and attractiveness level.

Do any of your friends have tongue rings? ~ a few.

Can money buy happiness? ~ it can buy drugs, so yeah.

Anyone you would like to get things straight with? ~ yes. freaking females.

How late did you stay up last night? Why? ~ 11:30. I was tired.

Last reason you fought with someone your fault? ~ Arguments with my father are never my fault.

Have you ever had a good friend of the opposite sex? ~ I dont have a lot of good friends period.

What was the first drink you had this morning? ~ cream soda

What was the last thing you burnt yourself on?  ~ something hot.

Have you hugged anybody today? ~ no.

Are you one of those people that always answer their phones? ~ Dont have one. I never answer my home phone.

What color are your eyes? ~ I'm not sure. some shade of blue.

Who called you last? ~ N/A

Are you wearing jeans, shorts, or sweats? jeans.

Who was the last person you talked to ~ Helena Caine

What time did you decide to get out of bed today? ~ like noon.

Are you tired now? ~ Define "Tired"

If you were on life support, would the last person you kissed come visit you? ~ probably.

Were you single on your last birthday? ~ I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN SINGLE.

Is your shirt yellow? ~ close, orange.

Has someone ever made you a promise and broke it? ~ people dont make me promises.

What was the first thing that you did this morning? ~ sat around in my underwear for a bit.

Last time you were very disappointed in yourself? ~ constantly.

What were you doing at 8:00am this morning? ~ does this quiz have Alzheimer's or something?

What do you think of the most when you are alone? ~ how not alone I wish I was. 

What do you do when you see a full moon? ~ Just stare for a bit and attempt to comprehend my insignificance.

Last time you cried?  ~ Months ago I think

Do you think $60 for a pair of jeans is cheap? ~ I dont buy my own jeans. But I'm pretty sure that's a total rip off.

Are relationships ever really worth it? ~ if they aren't then I dont see what I am waiting around for and I should probably just end it all.

Do you like sushi? ~ if it's well made.

What's the closest red object next to you? ~ A pen, two packs of cherry fisherman's friends, an empty pack of peppermint Altoids and a swiss army knife.

Have you ever passed out and randomly woke up in another place? ~ not that I can recall.

Are you listening to music right now? ~ I am afraid that my father will come in and yell. I want to be prepared for that. the short answer is no.

What do you really want right now? ~ To love and be loved.

Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos? ~ I want tattoos on my neck, sholderblades, wrists, inside of my elbows, and calves. I also want snake bites, an eyebrow piercing and a madison piercing.

How serious are your feelings for the person you like?  ~ Terminal.

Have you ever met a gay person? ~ yup. Probably more than I realize.

Have you ever intentionally made someone jealous? ~ I suppose.

What do you think about scene/emo kids? ~ depends. I prefer emo to scene if that means anything.

Do you live close to the person you like? ~ she is my next door neighbour 

Did you dress up for halloween this past year?  Scout from Team Fortress 2

Good boys who are scared of everything or bad boys that are fearless?  ~ I AM A HETEROSEXUAL MALE.

Why did you kiss the last person you did?  ~ It was on her bucket list.

Do you spend a lot of time with your parents?  ~ Any time us too much time

 Country or Screamo? ~ Neither,

What color is your room? ~Blue and some kind of olive green.

Do you look like your siblings? ~ HAHAHAHA no.

Do you have a picture of you kissing someone on facebook? ~ no.

What color is your bra? ~ GOD DAMNIT.

Do you think your ex still loves you? ~ GOD. DAMNIT.

Does every guy think you're hot? ~ GOD. FUCKING. DAMNIT.

What movie never fails to make you cry? ~ None. 

Are you talkative? ~ Depends.

What would you do iif you walked in on the last person you kissed having sex with a random person?  ~ Be speechless then bury myself alive somehow.

The person you like runs up and kisses you, your reaction? ~ Kiss them back. it would probably be in the rain and There would be dramatic music playing in my brain.

Your girlfriend/ boyfriend buys you flowers, you say? ~ GOD.... you know what? I dont even care anymore.

Are you in a relationship with anyone? ~ Sigh. no one ever listens to me...

Do you know how to drive? ~ in theory...

Ever felt like second to another girl?  ~ Not even going to dignify this question with a response.

Done anything illegal? ~ Define "Illegal"

Describe your life in one word? ~ Tedious.

Ever been scared to lose someone? ~ That the whole reason I am learning not to care about anyone.

Do you think age matters in relationship? ~ age is just a number. within reason.

If you could make your lips bigger, would you? ~ my lips are to big for a guy.

Last night you felt? ~ bored probably

What are you wearing right now? ~ jeans and a vintage Orange Crush tee shirt.

Do you want to be with someone right now? ~ you never listen to me.

Do you have any tattoos? ~ no.

Going across country with a boy/girl soon? ~ I would be but the assholes at the summer china exchange rejected me.

What is getting you mad at the moment? ~ what does that even mean?

Song you hear? by who? ~ Cicatriz by The Mars Volta.

Do you miss anyone? ~ Needlessly.

Were you intoxicated the last time you threw up? ~ nope.

Have your past mistakes made you wiser?  ~ not really. I am not a clever man.

Have you ever felt replaced? ~ i have never really felt wanted. so no I guess.

Are you a physco jealous person? ~ I am passively jealous. I just sit around feeling sorry for myself.

Do you think your life will be different this time next year in a good way? ~ hopefully

Should you be doing something more important? ~ Define "Important".

I'M DOING THIS ON THE BLOG THAT NOBODY READS.

layer one - on the outside

 Full Name: Michael Thomas Leigh Kopp
Birthday: May 7, 1996
School: David Thomphson Secondary School
Current Location: edgewater B.C.
Eye Color: blue
Hair Color: dirty blond
Righty or Lefty: Right.
Zodiac Sign: taurus

 layer two - on the inside

 Your Heritage: Austrian, English
Your Fears: Spiders, Urinating in public restrooms
Weakness: Most things Goal(s): to love and be loved
Change one thing about your life: My self-loathing
Relieve Stress: Music. Both listening to it and making it.
Hardest thing ever dealt with: my inferiority complex
What upsets you: Females.
Vent about something: Just someone please let me know wether I am a worthwhile human being or not.

layer three - yesterday, today, tomorrow

 Your thoughts first waking up: Looking forward to the ten minute period of time when you are forced to talk to me.
 Your bedtime: I'll miss you.
 Your most missed memory: I helped you with your bucket list.

 layer four - your picking

 Pepsi or Coke: Coke. McDonald's or Burger King: Not a fan of either, really. Mcdonalds I suppose. Single or Group dates: I have no frame of reference.
Lipton Tea or Nestea: Twinings.
 Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate.
Cappuccino or Coffee: They are both different kinds of coffee, moron. And I prefer lattes.

 layer five - do you?

Have a crush: more than just a petty crush
Think you've been in love: I am inclined to believe so, yes.
Want to get married: As long as I dont have to have kids.
 Believe in yourself: is that a question? Yes, I believe in my existence.

 layer six - in the past month have you?

 Drank alcohol: no but I had a pot cupcake.
Gone to the mall: band trip. she got kicked out. I almost forgot about her temporarily.
Eaten Sushi: yes
Gone skating: no.
Colored your hair: no.
Done something exciting: not especially.

 layer seven - have you ever?

 Changed who you were to fit in: I wouldn't doubt it
Hid something from someone: usually.
Stole a note that you weren't tagged in: just did. is that the stupid facebook tradition?

 layer eight - getting old Age

you're hoping to be married: ideally, never but I guess late 30s?
Age you're hoping to have children: If I wanted a money-sucking stress machine I'll adopt one.
Want to travel to: Japan.

layer nine - perfect match

Best Eye Color: Green
Best Hair Color: black
 Short or Long Hair: Long
Notice how this section asks nothing as to what kind of person she is?

 layer ten - what were you doing..

5 MINUTES AGO: eating food
1 HOUR AGO: you dont wanna know.
1 DAY AGO: probably what I always do at this hour. Internet.
LAST WEEKEND: see above question.
1 YEAR AGO: being a year's more immature and naive.

 layer eleven - finish the sentance

 I Love: someone I have yet to meet.
I Feel: lonely
I Hate: myself
I Hide: my love
I Miss: you for all the time that you will be gone.
I Need: you.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Resent

I resent you.
I resent him.
I resent the fact you won't end up telling him what you told me.
I resent the fact that you won't have to.
I resent that you waited for me for so long.
just to turn me away.
I resent you for telling me you weren't in love with anyone
I resent you for lying.
I will stay by your side as long as I can.
Because I love you.
But I still resent you.

Pools are great.
No one can tell the water from the tears.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Mr. Inferiority Complex

He follows me.
He sits on my shoulders
whispering not-so-pleasantries in my ear.

He tells me what to eat
what to think
what to feel
what to do.

He tells me I am
a worthless
waste of space.

He tells me
Nobody will ever
love me.

Every time I make an assumption
an assumption that maybe
just maybe
he is wrong

he just shouts, sitting on me bed
filing his nails
a cruel smirk painted on his face
"Not true."

But maybe you can help me
Kick him out.
Dump his freeloading ass
tell him to leave me the fuck alone

I would be cautiously optimistic, But he won't let me feel that way.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

You

sigh
moan
midday nap on the roof
skin on skin
no boundaries
breathing in unison
hair tickling face
light strum
pure lightness
red fringes
nervous?
hand on bare stomach
lips on bare neck
what is this?


Just a far too personal rambling

From someone who still doesn't know how to feel.

Friday, February 10, 2012

Here We Go.

Write a sentence.
*backspacebackspacebackspacebackspace*
No. thats stupid.

Write another sentence.
maybe...
no.
*backspacebackspacebackspacebackspace*

Long and mournful sigh.
I'll just sit here.
face illuminated by a computer screen.
Listening to the same song on repeat.
thinking of you.

Maybe my fat little greasy fingers
smashing repeatedly on this gross little keyboard
might produce something
that might make someone
somewhere
smile. 

Preferably you.

Because you deserve it.

I will be back. 
To make something much better. 
Because this kind of sucks. 
you'll see.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

An Open Rebuttal.

You obviously didn't know what I meant.
Whatever happens in here,
I will push out of the way for you.

They aren't doing me any favours.
They sit around
without paying rent
feeding on my brain
getting out their frustration at my heart.

You don't.

Stop thinking that you come second.
because you deserve more than second.
you deserve a golden metal.

Maybe I deserve
to be the one
to give it to you.